Today I went to the shops. I was not supposed to go to the shops, but I went anyway, because I have not been to the shops for a week, and I wanted a bar of chocolate, and a packet of crisps, and some sweeties. Sometimes when I go to the shops, I also go to see a movie. They are a lot of fun, except the really serious ones where there are no jokes and lots of people being unhappy. I do not like people being unhappy. I also do not like the the films where people are killing one another, because as Mrs Bregman keeps telling me killing each other is very bad and people should not do it and if they have done it they should be very sorry. I am very sorry.

But I still go to the shops, and sometimes I go see a movie too, because even though Mrs Bregman is right about lots of stuff, it is still very mean for her not to let me go to the shops.
I am writing this down because Mrs Bregman encourages me to keep a diary. She says it helps me to keep my thoughts straight, which I think is odd because my thoughts are very straight. They go in straight little lines all over the place, just the like the straight lines to the shops. It is easy to get there. First you go out of your room, turn right, and walk straight down the corridor. Then you turn right, then left, then right again, then you keep going straight, and you go past the wall, and you get out onto the road, which is straight. Then you turn left and walk along the road for a very long time, and you get bored, and you sing a little song that goes “I am going to the shops today. Today, to the shops, I am going. Going, I am, to the shops, today. To the shops, today, I am going”. The song continues like this for quite some time. Eventually there are lots of people staring at you, and that means you are in the town. Once you are in the town you go right, straight, left, straight, left, straight, right, straight, lots more straight, and then you are at the shops.
The shop I went to today is called Spar. I went there , and I pushed the the door open and heard a really annoying beeping sound. I hate the beeping sound, so I looked around and found the thing that made the beep. Once I found the thing I reached up and took hold of the thing firmly, and then I pulled it off the wall. This made the shop people very angry, and they shouted things at me. I did not like being shouted at, so I made them stop shouting. Then I went to the sweeties aisle. I got a small bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk Chocolate and a packet of Walker's Salt And Vinegar Crisps and some sweets. I got 2 blue sweet, and 3 green sweets, and 5 orange sweets, and 7 purple sweets, and 11 red sweets, and 13 yellow sweets. In all I had 41 sweets, plus the chocolate bar and the crisps. This is a very nice number. Also I like the taste of the sweets.
The shop people were now all sleeping or gone away, so I decided to leave the money on the counter, but at this point I had a problem, because I had no money. Mrs Bregman does not let me have money. I think this is silly, because if I do not have money how am I supposed to pay for things? Luckily I am very clever, and I soon had an idea. I remembered that when people pay for things in shops the money goes into a machine with a drawer. It is called the Cash Register. In the Spar shop there are 2 Cash Registers. Money goes into them, which means that there must be money inside them that has already gone in. So I looked inside Cash Register number 1, but when I tried to open the drawer it broke and would not open properly. So then I looked in Cash Register number 2, and this time I managed to get the drawer open. I took out just enough money for all the things I was buying, and left it on the counter. Now I could go back home. I opened the door and was very happy, because the beeping thing did not beep this time. Outside the shop there were 4 policemen, and they were shouting at me, and they told me to stay where I am. I did not like being shouted at, so I made them stop shouting. By now there is a lot of noise, and screamings, and shoutings, but I did not have time to stop it all, so instead I decided to go home.
As I walked home I sang my song again, only this time it went “I am coming home from the shops today. Today, from the shops, I am coming home. Coming home, I am, from the shops, today. From the shops, today, I am coming home”. It carried on like this, until I got back to the gates. Then I walked past the gates, and back to my room, to eat my sweets. First I ate the blue ones, then the green ones, then the orange ones, then the purple ones, then the red ones, then the yellow ones. Then I ate the chocolate bar. Then I ate the crisps. Then Mrs Bregman came in and she was very angry. She told me that I have done a lot of naughty things, and that I must not do these things. Then she asked me lots of questions, about how I got to the shops, and I tell her, and what I tell her is exactly what I have just written, so I will not write it again because that would just be repeating myself. This makes her very angry, and very confused, and I think a little bit scared. She asked me a lot of questions, but it was the same questions, so I gave her the same answers. Some other men in long white coats came in, and they asked me the same questions just in different words, and I gave them the same answers. Then they talked a lot and they got very agitated. They ask each other things like “How the hell did he walk out of a high security institute through three locked doors?” and “What I want to to know is, how did Charlie knock out four trained policemen on his own?”, however they were asking each other, not me, so I said nothing.

Finally Mrs Bregman came back, and she took the wrappers from my chocolate bar and my crisps, and some people put me into a straight jacket, and they moved me into a different room. This room has soft walls, and soft floor, and soft ceiling, although the ceiling is very high and I cannot touch it, so it might just look soft and actually be hard. Mrs Bregman also took away my pen and my journal book, which is why I am writing this on the wall using my toe, which I have bitten a little hole in to let the blood come out. The first time I tried to do this it made Mrs Bregman very angry, and she came into the room with some other people and they made me stop. But this time I made them all forget that I am here so that they will leave me alone, and that way I can write my journal just like Mrs Bregman wanted me to, before she started being a hypocrite. Now I am starting to feel tired, so I will go to sleep, and then tomorrow I will not go to the shops, but maybe I will go see a film instead.